wonder woman: what's that about?

Hey, it's Wonder Woman! Again. This time in the form of a "fan film." I'll be honest, I'm kind of amazed at how good this thing is, but obviously Jesse V. Johnson isn't your average fan. The guy has a ton of high quality experience and it shows. Also, it certainly doesn't hurt to have very recognizable faces like Peter Stormare involved.

Why Wonder Woman?

Here's the thing:  The trailer raises a perplexing question in my mind...  What's the deal with Wonder Woman? What's the fascination? Why is there an undying compulsion by so many creators to put her on the silver screen or bring her back to television?

Let's think about this for a minute... Her traditional costume is almost impossible to deal with. No matter how you try to modernize it or dumb it down, it's a nightmare and fans lose their minds either way. Her powers include the speed and strength of an amazon (and apparently that's a lot), bracelets that deflect bullets, and the coup de grace: a rope that forces people to obey and tell the truth. I'm not even going to mention two words that start with invisible and end with jet. How are you supposed to take a live-action version of this woman seriously? Some people obviously have a love for the character.

But, no matter what your obsession is with the woman *cough*bondage fetish*cough*, why would anyone disillusion themselves into thinking they can make Wonder Woman translate well off the page? Why would you think, "I'm the one that can pull this off." I mean, I'd rather take another crack at Howard the Duck before I got on board the flaming zeppelin that is Wonder Woman development.

Just look at all the failed projects in recent history. A 1967 rejected pilot script, a 1974 TV movie that starred Cathy Lee Crosby and wasn't picked up to be a series, the Lynda Carter series that ran three seasons and barely got renewed after the first... and that series is your zenith! The height of Wonder Woman on screen is three seasons of mediocre ratings and a catchy theme song. There is no doubt that the image of Lynda in her star-spangled outfit had iconic lasting power, but there weren't enough people actually watching the show. Since then, Joss Whedon and David E. Kelley have both taken a shot at the character for movies and TV respectively and neither one could get her off the ground. The new TV pilot was dead the instant pictures of Adrianne Palicki's shiny costume hit the internet. And can't we agree, if Whedon couldn't get this female hero to work, no one can?

So you're saying there's a chance...

Hokey. Campy. Call it what you will; in my opinion comedy is your only chance. I honestly don't believe it's possible to make a truly good, sincere Wonder Woman movie. There are simply too many factors working against you if you attempt to stay close to the source material whatsoever. No, if there is any hope for a small bit of success (likely on television) it would have to come through a very tongue-in-cheek comedy. Wink wink, nudge nudge, etc, etc. Make it fresh, make it smart, and maybe...  MAYBE....  eh, probably not.

Please everybody, let's allow Diana the Amazon Princess to rest peacefully in cartoons and the pages of her comics. Wonder Woman having a chuckle with Superman when Gleek the Space Monkey tries to eat his tale:  yes. A real live Wonder Woman running on top of Los Angeles traffic in her very shiny outfit:  no.